Wednesday, January 18, 2012

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra

Kept my fingers crossed for Cole Mohr or Francisco Lachowski to show up on set, but got so much more from assisting the stylists anyway.

The photo shoot had one female model; one estate in Pasadena; two stylists and trailers; three days; 10+ looks; 30+ crew members, hundreds of clothing, accessories, shoes and bags; thousands of mileage and tens and thousands of dollars.

Like any production with a disposable budget, time, money and people were exhausted, leaving the last of the energy reserves for usage. I am deeply sickened of the wastefulness with the exception of the yummy catering service by LOVE and the crew.

With all the (dis)gusto aside, the people on set were all very receptive and for the most part, either Briton, East Coaster or other. Some were crude and plain-stakingly hilarious. Here's an example of the gay Joan Rivers on set:

GJR: I'd rather fly from New Jersey to L.A. than drive from San Diego to L.A. I'd shit in my pants. I'd need Depends, a whole bag of Depends.

Me: Maybe you should just sit on a commode the entire drive.

GJR: [J.K. Rowling] doesn't need to make any more money. [That] bitch!

Me: Are these vines [on the house] fake?
GJR: Yes, they're fake just like my plastic dick.

For the first time, I sewed a button on a blazer, steamed clothes, wore booties, stepped into a commercial trailer and realized how much I may not want to participate in something so wearing out-tishly and tellingly meaningless like this again.


Aerial view of the shoot location
What ships out, must be shipped back!
Or sink in debt from rental fees!


How it all went down!
LOVE Catering made me accept squash and asparagus!
Stylist Matilda G.

Just realized the model on set (right) is the very chick on my desktop for
the Wildfox Couture SS 2012 lookbook

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